10. Ft. Wayne Pistons, 1942-48, NBA
I love this logo because it makes me think that during the 1940s there was absolutely zero imagination. That everything was, literally, like the movie Pleasantville. We're the Pistons, so our logo should be a man made of pistons. Lock it down.
Plus, The confused emotion on this man of pistons is great. His eyes say he's pissed, but his mouth is laughing. That'll keep your opponents on their toes.
Just in case you were confused by the "Z" on his chest; the owner of the clubs last name was Zollner.
9. Columbia Lions, 1957-70, NCAA
Is this supposed to be one of those 3-D posters? I see a dove... and I'm nauseous. Which school President commissioned some hippy art student to design this? However the more I stare at this (the closer I keep a spoon nearby, so I don't swallow my tongue), the more I'm beginning to think this logo is genius. What's the best defense for a University with horrible athletics? A seizure inducing logo to render your opponents useless. Forfeit Championship!
(Side Bar Note: Was I the only one who could never see those 3-D posters?)
8. San Antonio Gunslingers, 1984-85, USFL
This logo was brought to you by the same people who illustrated Schoolhouse Rock! Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of your rivals and their fans like the skinniest, dirt 'stachiest, rootin', tootin' hombre in all of San Antonio.
7. Lexington Legends, 2001-Pres., South Atlantic League (Baseball)
From the thinnest mustache to the fullest, I give you Smuggy McSmuggerville. What is he smirking at? I have expect their to be a dialogue bubble above his head that reads "That's your sister... She makes good eggs... because I slept with her." OR "Now that you've met the man... Care to meet the Legend?" You could do this all day; trust me I have.
6. Tulsa Drillers, 2004-Pres., Texas League (Baseball)
Sooooo... The guy drills through the ball because he hits it so hard? Nope. Is the guy stabbing the ball with his drill, in a double-fisted manner, to intimidate? No. Oh wait, no, the drill looks like penis? That's right folks The Sports Pad has just made two consecutive Minor League Baseball Penis Logo jokes. I'm on fire!
5. Anaheim Mighty Ducks, 1994-2006, NHL
See this is exactly why the NHL is the red-headed stepchild of professional sports; they allowed an expansion team to adopt it's name from a popular Disney film, staring the mighty duck man, EMILIO! Would the NBA or the NFL ever allow this marketing disaster happen? I mean what adult would by the Mighty Ducks merchandise? What a terrible idea.
4. Shreveport Steamer, 1975, World Football League
This logo isn't all that odd or funny, but thank God this team wasn't from Cleveland.
3. Montgomery Biscuits, 2004-Pres., Southern League (Baseball)
A BISCUIT!?!? Really, you couldn't come up with a better idea than that? Did the team owner come up with the name during breakfast at Denny's? So we can make two biscuits the head, give him some eyes and we're done. Oooh, we could give him a pad of butter for a tongue. Let's play some baseball!
However, this does make way for the greatest slogan in sports history. Montgomery Baseball: Sop it up with a biscuit!
2. Kansas State Wildcats, 1985-88, NCAA
Alright, so whoever came up with this logo completely decided to abandon the fact that the Kansas State mascot is a Wildcat. The cat part they got right, but it looks like a house cat, there is nothing wild about this cat. I mean if this logo was from the '40s or '50s I would chalk it up to lack of imagination, but this logo was made in the '80s. The '80s Wildcat should've been wearing a wide collared shirt only buttoned to his navel, snorting cocaine and heading off to the discotech flanked by prostitutes. Now that's a wildcat!
And why is he pooping an "R"?
1.) Calgary Rad'z, 1993-94, Roller Hockey International
I can only imagine the advertising firm that came up this name and logo. It probably had two last names like Anderson-Martin and they said things like "Calgary is bleak dreary place and we want to make it pop." "Our market research tells us that kids respond to short, hip exclamations." "Our market research also tells us kids hate proper spelling and punctuation." And from that the Calgary Rad'z were born. What a totally tubular, bogus name.
I'm off like a prom dress to go peg my jeans. Sike!
Either K-State ripped off Tom and Jerry or vice-versa.
ReplyDeleteCuz that's fuckin Jerry.
Oh wait or is it Tom?
ReplyDeleteIt's Tom, but I had to look it up (thanks Wikipedia). But you're totally right, it is Tom. How did I miss that?
ReplyDeleteAnd if there are any K-State alumni for the '80s out there, I'd really like to know why Tom has pooped an "R"?
I've been staring at the Lexington Legend for about 30 minutes. He cracks me up. Your description was exactly what I was thinking. I like the Tulsa butter churners, and the biscuits. Trip & Doub A have the best team names and logos! Case and point - Albuquerque Isotopes.
ReplyDeleteI saw The Isotopes one, and really I could have made a Top Ten Odd Logos just for minor league baseball.
ReplyDeleteThinking about it the Isotopes should have made the cut...
It's hilarious to me that no other minor league team came up with idea until 2003/4... "Hey, let's see if we can get a draw from this Simpsons phenomenon!?!"
Which really the Calgary Rad'z should have gone this route first and just called themselves the Calgary Cowabunga Dude'z...
sports pad, whats more important when you're starting up a franchise?
ReplyDeletethe name of the team, or the 1st player drafted/signed to the team?
Great question!
ReplyDeleteIf this question was to happen in a vacuum, it'd be the player no question. But it doesn't (and that's not a fun answer anyway) so we'll break it down.
If you're starting a minor league franchise (e.g. a team in Baseball's Pacific Coast League or an NBDL team) I would say it's the team name that's most important. Mainly, because you want your fan base to focus on the team as a whole because over the course of your franchises' history you'll probably be dealing with short-term players, due to them being called up to the bigs. You'd want a name that's humorous enough to peak interest but not so much of a joke that it detracts from your teams play. For example, you don't want to call yourself the "Iowa City Cornholes" because drunk college kids could get way too much mileage out of that name.
As for fringe Major league sports, like major league soccer or lacrosse. I'd still say the name is more important, because your sport will most likely not have a player like LeBron or Kobe to market around, so you'll need to sell the team concept to your area's fan base. As per the name, your trying to legitimize your sport as that 4th or 5th major professional sport, so you need to stay away from the humorous name and go with a strong, aggressive name like the Daggers or the Stampede.
And if it's a new franchise in a Major Professional sport (NBA, NFL, MLB, even NHL). It's gotta be the player. Now considering that in this day and age you'll have an expansion draft, where you'll snag fringe players from other teams in order to round out your roster. These players are vital to the team because they need to serve three purposes:
1.) One they need to be competitive enough to give your team a decent shot at winning a handful of games.
2.) They need to come at a reasonable price in order to give your team cap flexibility (not talking about MLB) to go out and make trades and pursue free agents.
3.) This might be the most important, they need to create a professional environment to provide support and nurture your teams first few high draft picks as they, invariably become the "face" of your teams franchise, because of their draft status.
I think the best example of player over franchise is with the Oklahoma City Thunder. They have a lame name and a poorly constructed uniform, but it doesn't really matter because they have a great young core of players with Durant, Green and Westbrook. In two years, when the Thunder (what a terrible name, but who am I to say anything I root for the Pistons) are contenders in the West they'll have new slick jerseys. Bet money on it.
And finally the most important thing to think about when you're constructing a sports franchise, no matter what level it's at, get smoking hot cheerleaders.
I hope that answers your questions.
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